Bird watching is just about the most unobjectionable hobby in the world. With Halloween approaching, however, it is time to discuss the dark, dark, dark side of birding.

Bird watching enthusiasts are always looking for good spots to whip out the binoculars and visually hunt for a new life bird. There are really only two potential downsides to this for bird watchers.

What Are You Looking At?

For backyard birding, one runs the risk of neighbors thinking you are a pervert of some type trying to look in their windows with your binoculars. This can usually be overcome by spreading the word in the neighborhood that you’re an avid birder and the binoculars are not pointing at anyone’s windows. Really.

If this doesn’t work, invite the offended neighbors over to do some watching. They will either grow bored and leave or get hooked. Either way, you’ll benefit and no longer have to deal with negative gossip.

Buffy the Bird Watcher

Cemeteries! Not just for demons, vampires and Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

A nasty little secret in the bird watching world is the fact cemeteries are good places to bird watch. Generally, the cemetery is quite, has lots of trees and hunters typically aren’t bold enough to have a go at the fowl. In short, a perfect place for birds to congregate and you to watch.

Now, it goes without saying that bird watching in a cemetery requires a certain etiquette. First, the staff at the cemetery may have a “get the hell off the property” policy towards birding enthusiasts. This can quickly be overcome by explaining that uncle/aunt [look at closest grave stone] was an avid bird watcher and you are bringing their equipment in remembrance. A little wailing may help with senior staff, while cigarettes seem to be preferred by staff carrying shovels.

Having dealt with the staff, small mention should be made regarding actual funerals. If a dearly beloved is being interred, do not pursue your birding within site of the event! Doing so could result in serious physical injury, as funeral goers do not seem to react well to a person with binoculars staring in the direction of funeral and writing down things. Keep in mind emotions are justifiably high. This means they can outrun you.

Typically, most will cluck in dismay at the idea of bird watching in a cemetery. You may be doing so now. Ah, but as Halloween approaches and you’re dying for a new sighting, you just might start to feel differently.

After all, where else will you be able to finally see Vladious Vampirous in its natural habitat?